DEERINGTON INBOX

[teamfun]

FROM: SUBJECT: EDDIE so i'd like to prelude this with the fact that i... LUNA Hey, Louis? I have a... boy-related question? CHLOE soooooo max came back idk if you heard LUNA a gift CHLOE you look like a tool DARYL clem huh PETER Birthday business GWEN CAKE DIARMUID Louis!!! I have learnt at last what The Club is, and I am ready to attend!! ROGUE Hey. You alive? LUNA I have a bit of an update for you. AMARA you home? i have something for you DARYL Louis. You alright? You good? AMARA louieeeeeeeee i woke up and went home for a little while RUBY Penny quick! SHIRO I mean it's not like it's a FANTASY LUNA Yes, I can help you over video again... WILL they're brown EDDIE ok first of all it is completely normal to put... PETER G I know I complained about it, but seriously... SCOTT i saw a spider in my bathtub yesterday and screamed. GWEN i think i came up with the next piece of modern media you should try! CHLOE Hey, nerd; you've got a girlfriend, right? THE MUTE Corndog.jpeg AMARA Selfie PETER G Oh hey dude, this is Peter. The Graham one LANCE Hey man You there? KURT Christmas gift HUNK Hey, man! You got an address? THOM I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? DIARMUID Louis, I bid a moment of time! EDDIE louis- hey sorry if this seemed ominious PETER Hey! It's Mr. Parker!

TO: SUBJECT: CLEM Hey. HEY. Guess what Summer Santa brought me? HUNK I have a bet with Shiro and I know I can trust you to tell the truth. CHLOE quick poll STEVE hey bitch you're still not awake LANCE hey, where've you been? my inbox has been weirdly empty of shitty memes MOIRA Hi there you've been recommended as a doctor i need to talk to CHLOE Hey. I'd ask if you're okay, but that's a bullshit question

code by cawaii

Comments

[variantcover]

Oh, he's great with dogs. We lived with a dog back home, when I first got him.

[ Never mind that Jeff was always competing with Pizza Dog for attention. They were totally BFFs. ]

You should bring your dog over for sure!

[teamfun]

Even better! I'll for sure bring Rosie around. She has... zero experiences with land sharks, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

[SHe's just going to have to live with the company she gets. Louis raises the bag of chips.]

Anyway! I bringeth the Chips of Goodness.

[variantcover]

SWEET SUSTENANCE!

[ Gwen cries, beckoning him over to the couch. ]

C'mon over, I've got it all hooked up.

[teamfun]

But of course! I always uphold my end of a bargain.

[He grins, moving to sit down. ]

Holy shit, look at it. I haven't seen a console in so damn long. I almost forgot what they looked like.

[variantcover]

[ Gwen hands him a controller, booting up the Mario Kart start menu. ]

Yeah, this one's pretty cool, too. It can convert from a console to a hand-held game in like, 3 seconds.

[teamfun]

[He turns the control in his hands, letting out an appreciative whistle.]

The non-zombie-infested earth sure did wonderous things. I'm jealous. You really can have it all.

You guys don't have flying cars yet, do you?

[variantcover]

Not on the boring old Earth I come from, but I'm pretty sure someone on Earth-616 has figured it out. Probably Tony Stark or something. But they're not, like, readily available.

[teamfun]

Man, that's just tragic.

Also, it's both weird and really cool that you guys number your Earths. Like, the fact you get to a point where you have that many of them, you have to create a whole catalogue system for them.

[variantcover]

The numbering system is more just for the fans than for the actual people living on Earth-616. Most people in the Marvel multiverse aren't really aware of any Earths besides their own.

[teamfun]

...Wow. That's gotta be a mindfuck. So... not everyone is aware of it? But you get to be in the super fun club?

[variantcover]

Yep! That's what happens when you're a multiverse traveler like me.

[teamfun]

For realises? [He lets out an appreciative whistle.] You must have seen some crazy shit.

[variantcover]

[ Gwen nods, looking a little distant. ] I've seen... a lot..

[ But she pulls herself back to the present and gives Louis a smile. ]

Honestly, most of the weird stuff I've seen happened here. This place is like the Grand Central Station of crazy bullshit.

[teamfun]

[He catches that look- Louis is pretty damn skilled in noting changes in people's moods. It's what makes him so good at the emotional caretaker role he has back home. His smile fades, just a touch.]

...Yeah I bet.

[But he doesn't press her- it's not his place to.]

Holy shit you're not wrong. I mean, this still doesn't beat Wonderland for me for when it comes to really batshit stuff. But I think it's hard to beat a world that's a literal drug-fulled creation when it comes to insanity.

[variantcover]

Wonderland?

[ This is the first Gwen's hearing about Wonderland being a real place that Louis has been to. ]

As in... "Alice in?"

[teamfun]

[He grins, giving lazy finger-guns.]

Exact one! I met Alice, she's pretty cool. It's uh... basically a kidnapping world like this place is. Except... fucking Wonderland. So it was less horror-of-the-month and more fucking with our minds on a near-constant basis.

[variantcover]

[ She blinks. Not the answer she expected. ]

...Huh. I guess there really is a universe out there where everything is real.

[ Not that Deerington hasn't already proven that, but. Good to know. ]

[teamfun]

I guess so. I saw a whole lot of batshit in that place, you kinda unsuspend your disbelief permanently after a while. I met a human-sized dove while I was there who went to like... school with humans? Also he was a ghost. A ghost human-sized dove teenager.

[He stares into the middle distance, nodding slowly.]

Nothing's topped that, yet. That's where I'm at on the weirdness scale.

[variantcover]

[ She nods slowly back. ] Yeah, that just about beats everything I saw on Earth-616. A supervillain who's just a giant floating head turned a friend of mine into a giant bird of prey, that only lasted a day or so.

Oh, and I once managed to convince an angry group of squid aliens to kidnap a decoy pig wearing my costume instead of me. They figured it out eventually, but it stalled them for a while.

[teamfun]

That's... you that's a thing. Was the head floating in a jar like in Futurama or just like... free-range?

[It's important to know, okay? And that's... well, that's a story right there.]

A decoy pig. Okay I'm actually pretty impressed by that one. Nice.

[variantcover]

Nah, just like... Picture a giant head, the size of my sofa. Then teensy tiny little legs and arms, sitting on a rocket powered hover chair. No jar.

[ M.O.D.O.K. always was a trip to describe. ]

[teamfun]

[Give him a second as he tries to process that particular slice of insanity.]

...Well. That sure is fucking trippy. I think it's the teensy tiny little legs and arms that really make the mental image pop.

[variantcover]

Right? He always was just a shade too ridiculous to be taken seriously as a villain.

[ Gwen's opinion of M.O.D.O.K. had changed slightly when he vaporized Cecil right in front of her, but... They'd fixed that. Resurrected Cecil, gotten him his body back, kicked M.O.D.O.K. into space. Of course, that didn't last and he showed up in L.A. just a few months later, but... semantics. Nothing good ever lasted on Earth-616. ]

Anyway... Enough comparing weird bullshit multiverse shenanigans. You ready to have your ass handed to you on turtle shell?

[teamfun]

Bless him, but he tried.

[He'd take ridiculousness over the cruelty of the Delta any day, thanks.]

Oh, brave words!!! I got some of my own: Bring. It. On.